Foundations for Cutlery Skills at Mealtimes
by Rebecca Gilchrist
Mealtimes are an important part of a child’s daily routine. While the primary purpose of meals is nourishment, it is also important to consider the development of underlying skills that support a child’s active participation and eventual independence in self-feeding. Mealtimes provide regular opportunities for children to practise a variety of skills. Using cutlery is a significant milestone toward self-feeding independence.
When examining the development of cutlery skills, the primary need is to understand general age-appropriate developmental norms for self-feeding, as well as the child’s individual stage, which may vary due to natural differences between children.
Below are general developmental guidelines (Evalina London):
- 9–18 months, finger feeding is the primary method of self-feeding, typically using a pincer grasp (thumb and index finger).
- 18 months, children start to use a spoon.
- 18-23 months, children start to hold the bowl steady with their other hand.
- Approximately 2½ years, children start to use a fork.
- 3 years, they may start to eat with both a fork and a spoon.
- 6 years, children start to use a knife. They may not be able to confidently use a knife and fork together until the age of 7 or 8.
Feeding Skill Development and Possible Barriers
For some children, mealtime skills progress naturally and gradually develop through parent encouragement and instruction, modelling from others, and ongoing practice. For other children, however, more targeted support may be required.
The progression of a child’s feeding skills can occur for a variety of reasons. Some common factors include differences in the development of fine motor skills, postural control (sitting upright at the table with stability), coordination, and attention and concentration. Sensory processing differences may also affect a child in various ways during mealtimes. This may again impact physical movement, challenges remaining seated for extended periods, or discomfort related to sensory aspects of mealtimes, such as sounds, sights, smells, and food textures.
Initial Ways to Address Concerns
When children are not progressing with cutlery skills as expected, it is essential to first consider their physical ability to grasp and manipulate eating utensils. Presentation of food to the child is also important, such as the dishware being used to hold food and the texture of foods being offered during practice. Sometimes, making simple adjustments in these areas can greatly increase a child’s success, building greater confidence and motivation to practice self-feeding skills.
Seating position is also a significant factor to consider. If a child is leaning forward, slumping, or sitting with their feet dangling, cutlery use becomes more challenging. Ideally, an upright seated posture (e.g., back supported and straight) is recommended, with feet supported on the floor or another stable surface. This positioning provides a strong base of support for the arms and hands to manipulate tools such as cutlery, cups, and bowls.
Children may also benefit from having a variety of practice opportunities embedded within their day to learn cutlery skills. Having mealtimes with others, at home or school, further supports skill development through modelling and social learning. Practising related fine motor skills through play opportunities is also recommended, as it can strengthen underlying abilities in a low-pressure context.
We must also consider the child’s sensory responses to the environment in which they are eating meals. If a child is easily distracted by sounds or sights, struggles to remain seated, or shows behaviours of touch, taste, or smell sensitivity around certain foods, they may benefit from practising cutlery skills in a quieter, more controlled environment.
Targeted teaching strategies may also be needed when a child is struggling to progress in this area. When possible, it is best to focus on one skill at a time. Additional accommodations such as hand-over-hand support, breaking tasks into smaller steps, using backwards chaining methods, giving additional practice opportunities, and adjusting the level of challenge may be necessary. These strategies can improve a child’s understanding, participation, and confidence while reducing the risk of overwhelm.
If a parent, carer, or educator identifies a delay or discrepancy in cutlery skill development or other related skills (e.g., sitting abilities), implementing generalised strategies may be sufficient for increasing progress. However, if the child’s challenges become significant or limited progress is made after implementing generalised advice, input from an occupational therapist would be recommended. Occupational therapists are highly trained in supporting children with various functional skill development challenges, including those related to self-feeding.
Specific Tips and Tricks for Supporting Cutlery and Sitting Posture Skills
To further support parents, carers, and educators in promoting cutlery skills and sitting posture, please refer to the accompanying booklet, which provides practical, easy-to-implement strategies and recommendations.
If a parent, carer, or educator identifies a delay or discrepancy in cutlery skill development or other related skills (e.g., sitting abilities), implementing generalised strategies may be sufficient for increasing progress. However, if the child’s challenges become significant or limited progress is made after implementing generalised advice, input from an occupational therapist would be recommended. Occupational therapists are highly trained in supporting children with various functional skill development challenges, including those related to self-feeding.
To support parents and guardians we’ve created a downloadable handout. This activity booklet provides practical guidance for parents and guardians to help children develop mealtime skills. It focuses on essential areas such cutlery skills and seating position, using proven strategies from Occupational Therapy, the booklet offers engaging activities, and expert tips to turn everyday moments into valuable learning opportunities.
